So for my first post on my WordPress blog (which I will likely neglect as much as my blogspot blog) I’ll let you in on a few social dynamics tips:
1. Getting out of the house is the first step in creating a social life.
I know it’s a hard pill to swallow but most of the time the fun WILL NOT come to you. I also know that leaving the comfort of your World of Warcraft Universe might piss off your guild or clan or whatever but the game is doing nothing for you in real life and ruining any chance you might have of meeting anyone let alone getting lucky. This makes your confidence go to shit and thereby perpetuates the vicious cycle.
Parents, if you are sheltering your children here is another problem. Parents run this guilt trip on kids to keep ‘em in check sometimes. Make them feel guilty about going out and doing what kids do and they won’t for fear of disappointing you. Well, it does something else to them. It makes them resent you and doesn’t allow them the social development or to gain the status in their group of friends that they have a right to get a chance at. Yes parents, status is important in teenaged life as well! Lighten up assholes! You want your children to grow up as undeveloped and awkward weirdos? You want your son to be the guy in the office no one can talk to? Do you want your daughters dreams of being an actress or doctor dashed because she just can’t speak in front of people? Then fucking get over yourself and let go!!!
2.The Approach
Being in an environment where you can meet new people and experience new things creates new experiences you can talk about. A large percentage of people have a strange fear about running out of things to say (material) and therefore never approach to make a new friend. Well I can help there as well. There is an acronym that approach artists and sales people use to guide a conversation so that you don’t run out of steam: FORM
Family: Where are you originally from? Do you have Kids? etc.
Occupation: Well…
Recreation: What do you do for fun?
Message: After a solid 10-20 minutes of conversation you get to the point of the approach. This is really where the magic happens. You have already established a connection or a certain comfort level with whoever you’ve approached and can now either walk away with a simple nice meeting you(if that was your objective) or begin to get to the point.
This tactic is only reserved for the new folks because after using it awhile you’ll see that sometimes it feels more like an interview and you come off disingenuous. The idea is to get you into the game and talking to new people. Also it will help you figure out your sticking points and help you hammer them out. After awhile you’ll feel at home opening up to people and an aura will form about you that screams, “COME AND MEET ME!” I left alot of little, important details out and if I get enough feedback about it I will dive into the specifics at a later date.
3.Closing
To close a conversation is quite simple friends. It was nice to meet you, I really enjoy talking to you but…
Boys and girls if you are trying to meet a new potential interest: This conversation is really good but I have to get back to (insert whatever it was you were doing before you approached here) how do we continue this at a later date? Usually the phone number/email will come out. As a rule of thumb I usually don’t offer mine for the simple fact that asking for it denotes courage and confidence. Also offering yours has the adverse effect. Girls, this is a FANTASTIC filter for boys. If a guy can’t ask he really doesn’t deserve you. Although if you really just can’t let him slip away there are exception to every social rule (except psychotic behavior. Eating your own poop is generally always a deal breaker.) Guys should be willing to risk a little embarrassment for the potentially HUGE payoff of meeting someone special.
I’ll end it there for now. My hope is I helped someone and pissed the rest of you off. You’re welcome.
